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In a new feature to UR7s, we will bring you some of the slightly alternative stories from around the globe which may have gone unnoticed over the last few weeks. We’re for everything Sevens remember – as if you didn’t know?!

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Roko taking one for the team

Just in case any of you were under the gross misconception that rugby sevens doesn’t mean as much to the fans then 15s then think again. In the South Seas of Fiji it runs through their blood and when the national team don’t hit the seismic heights, people want to know why and preferably find a scapegoat.

In what sounds like a disgraced South American footballer returning home from a World Cup after a gaffe, Fiji’s Nasoni Roko was forced to hold his hand up upon returning with the national squad from the Hong Kong Sevens part of the IRB Sevens World Series.

"I'm sorry. I let the country down.... I blame myself for my dismal performance. I know that it was costly to the team and the nation... I know most people did not like my performance and hate me for that," he reportedly told the Fiji Times.

Ouch. Your dreadlocks looked impeccable as always Nasoni, so every cloud yeah.

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Passions run high at Sevens’ birthplace

It proved a rollercoaster weekend for Melrose coach Craig Chalmers. On Friday, on the eve of the world famous Melrose Sevens, the former Scottish and British Lion seemed calm and very much looking forward to the biggest day of the year at Greenyards when speaking to UR7s.

Yet his side was robbed at the quarter-final stage when what looked a clear match-winning try ,against eventual winners Hamilton, was disallowed. Chalmers obviously wasn’t happy.

After lambasting match officials things turned ugly hours later when he was arrested for an apparent drunken disagreement with a Bouncer outside a hospitality marquee.

Lothian and Borders Police confirmed: "A 41-year-old man was arrested on Saturday. He was released with a fixed penalty ticket."

A Melrose spokesmen kindly informed the rugby world that Craig had had “a pasta lunch in our sevens hospitality at midday for a period of 30 minutes.”

Slightly bizarre to go into such intricate detail, was that to give us the heads-up that his stomach had been layered sufficiently with a steady flow of carbohydrates?!

Chalmers has since apologised but has been called in to get his wrists slapped by the SRU at an independent disciplinary hearing on Wednesday 21 April at Murrayfield Stadium.

There is no doubt Chalmers is a top coach, having done so well with Melrose, and UR7s hopes this doesn’t impede him coaching at a higher level in years to come.

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Bureaucracy stalls the Fatboys

The UK’s Fatboy Sevens in Crawley has been forced to cancel their 2010 event set for 30th May. The Fatboy Sevens concept aims to give the slightly more rotund, older, and jowly individuals a level playing field on a Sevens field. 

Points are deducted from the starting scores of teams fielding player's under 35 years of age and tipping the scales at less than 16 stones. Players with more years under their belts and more pounds over them will gain extra points.

But clashes with the local council over costs, timing, and red-tape seems to have scuppered any chance of this year’s tournament taking place. 

“This event has always been a bunch of fat blokes and their skinny mates getting together, roasting a pig, having a few beers, playing a bit of light hearted rugby and raising money for charity. We have collected over around £20,000 since the conception of this fun day and only the charity will suffer by the sad cancellation,” said a Fatboy spokesmen.

“Crawley Borough Council has given us the opportunity to have a reduction on the £1000 license fee by way of a 10 page form wanting to know the Ins and Outs of a Ducks backside. By the amount of information they require you would think we were trying to run an event on the scale of Glastonbury.”

Although the local council deny asking for a license fee, they have so far not commented if an intricate knowledge of a duck’s anatomy was also required in the paperwork. Seriously though, this is a fantastic event enjoyed by a lot of people so UR7s hope things get sorted out for 2011.

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You April Fools

On April 1st UR7s ran a news story announcing a rugby club in the UK was planning on hosting the first ever naked sevens tournament. The brainchild of naturist Luke Atmerear the tournament was set to take part at Somersham RFC, with Chairmen Rory Underwear. 

If you still are buying this garbage, just re-read the above paragraph!

Yep, UR7s played our part in the various gags and yarns that April Fools never fails to spew out. For the many that commented or wrote in their horror...you were had. Chin up!