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20:11 - That's your lot folks. Convene here tomorrow for the knockout stages of the 2009 Rugby World Cup Sevens. Been an absolute pleasure as always. See you at 10:30am Dubai time tomorrow....have a cracking weekend, Peace.

One more 'Random Sevens Fact' (you are loving them): The Rosslyn Park National Schools 7s Tournament in London is the biggest in the world, with around 4000 kids competing.

Stumpy Update: No idea..lost in the desert hopefully!

19:53

Another long, belting day comes to an end and the Cup Quarter Finals are...

England v Samoa
South Africa v Australia
New Zealand v Wales
Fiji v Kenya

19:51

New Zealand v Tonga

Kiwis seem to have so much time on the ball and its Tuoro who supports well from Captain invincible, DJ Forbes, mini break. Raikabula hasn’t seen much game time but it takes his chance nicely here skipping round Malupo. 14-0.

Tomasi Cama is a key cog for coach Tietjens and will be important tomorrow if the Kiwis are going to grab their second RWC. Nice shimmy slash show-and-go sees the little man through. Scrappy end to a long day (Kiwis haven’t played since 11am) and Raikabula grabs a second before Tonga have the last laugh with a breakout finished off by Fonua.

Result: New Zealand 24 Tonga 7

19:39

Last match coming up ladies and gents, it's New Zealand/Tonga....New Zealand are guaranteed and basically through - probably seeing the Welsh in the Cup QF...Still a healthy crowd in, although some have sloped off to party bars outside the stadium for a couple more shandys.

19:30

Kenya v England

Advantage England with Little Kevin Barrett collecting a line-out tap down and shimmying his way over. A period of pressure for the Africans and captain Kayange steps up when his team needs him most to level things up at 7 apiece. Bubbling nicely!! Only matter of time before the quickest man here, Varndell, went in – Asego gave up that chase pretty early! England 12-7. Take 2 mins chaps.

Deceptively pacey Phillips runs an outside angular line and guess who… Varndell in about 2nd gear canters in. Fijian born Damu bags a cheeky brace, the first a languid scything step, the second just brute power. 26 – 7, good night Kenya. England red hot. They are right in the mix tomorrow, taking on Samoa in the Cup QFs.

Result: England 26 Kenya 7

19:10

Its a huge one for Pool E; Kenya/England winner will top it. Kenya need to avoid losing by 20 points...England's points difference is average to say the least, a loss could be curtains for their Cup hopes. Winner to play Samoa tomorrow. Game on!

19:06

Samoa v Australia

Early big hits from Rudi Moor’s charges negate a busy Australia. Neat chip from playmaker Mai is enough for an early 5 pointer. Rugby League convert Foley trying to inject some urgency but Samoa’s wall shall not be breached for this half…it’s a 2 minute breather.

Treviranus is a big mean lump and he nudges an Aussie out of his way to latch into an Ulae Mai chip, 12-0 to the Samoans…what have the youngsters in green and gold got? Not enough I’m afraid, as Samoan veteran Levasa scorches up 40 yards before flipping it one hand to a grateful Salesa for another try. Samoa top Pool D.

Result: Samoa 19 Australia 0

18:49

Pitch 2 news: it's SA 19 - 14 Scotland. Despite a comeback from the Scots, South Africa grab the win in the dying seconds. Captain Mpho Mbiyozo scores in the corner and it means the South African's are the second team through to the Cup quarter finals. Edged through all their games so far has Paul Treu’s side - will need to step it up tomorrow.

18:49

Samoa/Australia now...if the Aussies can beat unbeaten Samoa it could send them packing to the Plate......tough one to call. Heart says Samoa. Aussie 'journo' next to me obviously disagrees.

18:47

Typical Fijian build up - patient, aggressive, and skilful = Nalaga try. French indiscipline leads to a penalty try and a 12-0 lead. Nalaga sucks in a couple of Frenchmen and it gets shifted right to a delighted Nanuku who impishly sticks his tongue out – so far so good for the defending champs @ oranges.

Gallic calamity as Dulin kicks straight to a Burotu who can’t believe his luck - he feeds Nalaga for his second. 26-0 Fiji. Ferreres gets Les Bleus off the mark but Goneva shows a clean pair and blazes in for another. Fijian fans going berserk on the far side as Daunivucu puts the icing on.

Result: Fiji 38 France 5

18:33

Business time now for the big boys...both unbeaten, both showing a bit of form, it's winner takes all in Pool B with Fiji and France on P1...Wales need a big Fijian win to get them through, if Fiji lose then they might also be out due to their low points difference...

18:15

News from P2 and it finished Argentina 14 Wales 0. Argentina top Pool F, a try in each half has got them there against the battling Welsh. Wales roared on by decent P2 crowd were gallant but now ultimately have a nervous wait to see if they can get a Cup Quarter-Final spot as one of the two best runners-up.

18:12

Women's Update:

Match 13: New Zealand 43 Italy 0
Match 14: South Africa 26 Uganda 0
Match 15: England 29 Russia 0
Match 16: Japan 0 USA 38
Match 17: Australia 36 Netherlands 0
Match 18: France 19 China

As expected, basically, with France topping their group but it's favourites England who look the most complete package with clinically effective wins over the USA and now Russia.

18:05

Random Sevens Fact: There are on average 2.2 mins between tries in sevens vs 12.5 mins in the fifteen-a-side version of the game.

Stumpy Update: Boys have perked up a little it appears, although the cretin has been stripped bare of his fairy outfit and now looks more like a slightly over-weight 24 year old leotarded gymnast. He's got through a few of those £40 pack of 12 lagers- the only alcohol on tap here... Bargain?!

17:58

Don’t know if you had the pleasure of following me yesterday but mentioned something about the Cheerleaders? They have been on fire today showing some flexible, creative, and original shapes – better than the usual drivel you see at a lot of rugby. ‘Stuart Parker’ (Blair McDonough) a former resident of Neighbours’ Ramsey Street is in charge of chaperoning them – tough gig Stu?! Seen a bit of him last few days nice, really nice bloke, who was also a promising sevens player in his day before he moved in with Toadfish et al and it all went to pot. Sun setting in the desert now – the lights are on!

17:39

Wales could be in the mix for a Cup Quarter-Final berth here…a win would guarantee that against the Pumas now - but a close loss might also take them through courtesy of their points difference…it’s on P2 so will give you updates when I know what’s going on folks.

17:37

USA v Georgia

Kevin Swiryn seems to consistently perform and he skips down the far touch line here for an early score, that man Ngwenya gets in the act and it’s as expected thus far – 12-0 to USA. Malifa a constant catalyst for the Americans finds his captain Chris ‘Shrek’ Wyles for one more before the half.

This is a tough, intensive game and the Georgian big men like Todua look pretty knackered, Boyd who has personal shocker against Fiji takes advantage. 26-0 to the States. Bosh! Clever smashes his ban and Hawkins pounces for the try. Shkinin gains some solitary consolation…it’s 33-5.

Result: USA 33 Georgia 5

17:22

Time for the Eagles to take some anger out on Georgia potentially – with the Americans still winless. Biarritz flyer Ngwenya hasn’t seen much ball yet but Caravelli’s starting him for this one…

17:16

Ireland v Portugal

Portugal start the brighter with a try to Tiago Girao but a late tackle by Joao Mirra sees him binned and it’s all Ireland needed to take the advantage with Paul Marshall crossing for his second try of the tournament to lock the match up at the break.

The leggy Esteves breaks that ‘lock’ for an early 2nd half ‘5’ and then David Mateus enjoys a cheeky show and go, coasting in just below me. 17-5 to Portugal. What have the Irish got in their locker? Nothing as far as this one goes as Portugal finally secure their first win of RWC 2009.

Result: Portugal 17 Ireland 5

17:07

Looking forward to seeing this one. Ireland have got a swaggering confidence around the joint after their classic win against the Aussies, whilst the Portuguese haven’t turned up at this party yet on either day…is this their time? Ireland need a win to push for Cup qualification – what a story that would be from a nation who play little part on the IRB circuit.

17:04

Great to see big Jonah Lomu around the place this weekend – the big man has literally been posing for adoring fans' photos and autographs around ‘The Sevens’ complex all day – absolute legend. It was his hat-trick in the 2001 Final that secured NZ their first and only RWC Sevens title…thus far. Would love to know what batteries the Kenyan fans use…they don’t stop jigging, vibing, and singing all day at these gigs!

17:03

Reports from P2 is Canada 22-12 Japan: Canada's DTH van der Merwe dominated the match with a hat-trick in his side's four tries to two victory over Japan. Canada played an expansive game which tested Japan's defence time and again although they did manage a late try courtesy of leading man Alisi Tupuailei.

16:54

Arabian Gulf v Italy

Big crowd may be getting ‘drowsy’ but this will lift them as the hosts get off to a flyer courtesy of some decent gas from Taif Al Delamie giving Bortolussi a good Hand off in the nose for a 5 pointer. Bortolussi departs to mop the crimson emanating from said nose. Back come Italy with Stanojevic and Mariani, whose blowing hard after working his socks off to get at the end of that. 12-5 Italy at the break.

Back comes ‘The Gulf’ with Marcus Smith who is sporting a typical Welsh/Kiwi rugby hairstyle (you know the one I mean - long at the back, short at the sides with product aplenty) going in. 12-12 and it’s tight. The hosts finally get their just rewards when Jonny MacDonald’s mazy run is finished by Chris Gregory. But no! The Italians steal it post hooter when Burton finishes off 5 phases of recycled ball to leave ‘The Gulf’ pretty deflated.

Result: Arabian Gulf 17 Hong Kong 19

16:36

Reports from P2 is Canada 22-12 Japan: Canada's DTH van der Merwe dominated the match with a hat-trick in his side's four tries to two victory over Japan. Canada played an expansive game which tested Japan's defence time and again although they did manage a late try courtesy of leading try-man Alisi Tupuailei.

16:32

Tunisia v Hong Kong

Tunisia had a stirring comeback against the might of the English earlier today but they are down early doors here with Keith Robertson dummying inside his own 5m and goes the length for 7. Robertson, who honestly looks about 11 years old, then gets on the end of sweeping team move and its HK 14 - Tunisia 0 as the players catch a breather.

Tunisians are a gallant bunch and like late comebacks they score quickly twice, the latter an old school dummy/scissors/pop (DSP) with Haynes and Glenda-Charles the protagonists. Mezgar goes up the middle and offloads to a bulldozing Zegden and there’s nothing HK can do about that.

Result: Tunisia 19 Hong Kong 14

16:28

It’s the turn of the lesser rugby nations now (without sounding patronising) who get to enjoy their time in the sun on main-stage P1…Update from Stumpy: The Fairies found each other again but were seemingly dispatched in the funnel boat race in the Emirates Stand with the gang now potentially suffering for the cause. Pretty scorching sun beating down, god knows how the players manage or for that matter the three different groups of ‘lads’ bravely dressed up as Umpa Lumpas.

16:26

Worth staying tuned as a lot of games later on tonight are between the top in the respective pools...France have now set themselves up for a potential corker against Fiji at 18:20 local time...

Womens Update:

Match 7: England 17 USA 0
Match 8: Japan 10 Russia 31
Match 9: Australia 10 France 14
Match 10: Netherlands 12 China 31
Match 11: Brazil 12 Thailand 10
Match 12: Canada 0 Spain 12

Favourites England start their campaign well, clinically depositing off title contenders USA. Great game from Thailand who thought they had snuck it before having their hopes broken by Brazilian Natasha Olsen. Spain now top Pool C after a famous win over the physical Canadians.

16:11

Just had a little wander over to P2 - a good little game between Zimbabwe and Uruguay: a free flowing first half with Zimbabwe dominating the scoreboard. A spirited fightback by Uruguay in the second half with tries to Francisco Bulanti, Ignacio Conti and Nicolas Morales but a second half try to Cheetah's Wensley Mbanje ensured it wasn't enough to bridge the gap. Uruguay 24 Zimbabwe 28.

15:35

Worth staying tuned as a lot of games later on tonight are between the top in the respective pools...France have now set themselves up for a potential corker against Fiji at 18:20 local time...

Womens Update:

Match 7: England 17 USA 0
Match 8: Japan 10 Russia 31
Match 9: Australia 10 France 14
Match 10: Netherlands 12 China 31
Match 11: Brazil 12 Thailand 10
Match 12: Canada 0 Spain 12

15:26

France v Georgia

Georgians gift Ferreres an easy score form the off, it’s then French ‘Top 14’ star Jaouher who pops blind over his shoulder to a thankful Ferreres. Georgia maybe relatively knew to Sevens but they hang on valiantly before the half-time huddle.

Ferreres sees yellow and no-one can quiet understand why – chance for Georgia? Good value this game, with both teams physically drained from the scorching afternoon heat. Star-winger Malzieu gets it though and he’s just too good for Georgia, 26-0 to Les Bleus (who actually don a white toned skin-tight shirt for sevens). Ferreres is out from the ‘bin’ and ‘tap 'n goes’, steps, and gets his hat-trick.

Result: France 33 Georgia 0

15:04

Amazing scenes - that’s why we love this sport. The Irish fans have gone bananas, having to settle for mini cans of Heineken instead of Guinness – will taste just as sweet! Good hour form the Celts, France/Georgia have to follow that now on P1, good luck.

Stumpy Update – He’s lost his ‘Fairy’ dressed mates and is getting mercilessly bullied by the Redcoated British Army - whose stash is simply amazing (apparently they cost £100 to hire, but well worth it). Those boys have surrounded themselves with some curvy blondes all day, but by accounts they have had enough of the ‘lad-iness’ and have pushed off…

15:00

Ireland v Australia

Wow we have a shock on the cards here as first Felix Jones, Paul Marshall and former Great Britain Rugby League Star Brian Carney push the Irish into a 17-0 start inside 3 minutes. Boys from Oz get their hands on the ball and Jenkins touchline effort puts in Henry Vanderglas just before oranges.

Irish hanging on here and are doing a lot of kicking – dangerous territory in sevens as you gift the opposition the ball. A sweeping length-of-the-field move sees the star 20 yr old youngster Luke Morahan touch in. It’s 17-14 Ireland. Irish tiring with a twirling Kingi and Murphy combining well and Oz have the lead. Not for long though as Irish steal the win in dramatic circumstances when a Tuohy scissors with Brown sees the latter glide in!!

Result: Ireland 24 Australia 21

14:45

Celtic fans around ‘The Sevens’ will be pleased - Wales and Scotland looking good there…can the Irish follow suit? They have a good support base here with green wigs littered around ‘The Sevens’. Aussies are their opponents whose young side impressed yesterday. Still have my doubts over their consistency though….

Random Sevens Fact: International Sevens players can lose up to 3kgs in one lung-bursting 14 minute game.

14:40

Scotland v Japan

Andrew Turnbell goes for a wander, spies a some space and jazz dances the sweeper for an early 7. I Know it sounds odd but the Japanese are out muscling the Scots at the breakdown, and star man Tupuailei shows muscle in evading Forrest for the 5. Cancel that x2 though as Japan miss an easy hit and then drop a ball on the line, gifting messrs Grant & Gregor scores.

Thompson scythes through from the start then it’s up to skipper Gregor to collect his own chip and bound over – that’s his 4th of the tournament. Poor Japan can’t get hold of the ball here, an old fashioned fly hack through sees Suzuki in for 5. Spear tackle from Grant does not impress Tupuailei who grabs him round his collar school playground style – now now fellas.

Result: Wales 31 Uruguay 10

14:22

Scott Gemmell the Scotland coach was not impressed yesterday… “I feel embarrassed and hugely disappointed. That’s not acceptable for any Scotland team. Credit to Canada, they ran hard and challenged us but we didn’t turn up at all. I'm sure there will be some battered bodies in their changing room but there are none in mine because they didn’t work hard enough." Ouch. They face Japan now on P1.

14:21

Wales v Uruguay

Fijian referee Bolobiu blows and we’re off folks. Wales start patiently, going side to side before Aled Thomas gets an inside pop and has one of the lung-bursting 70 yard runs – showing impressive ‘speed endurance’. Big Craig Hill has a dart popping to Pugh and then gets involved in some handbags with Parra (11 year old head-lock stuff). 15-0 @ drinks.

Boys from the Valleys continue to impress with two quick tries – Richie Pugh epitomising their efforts - strong and powerful. Hill punctures another hole, sucking in two Uruguayans and releasing prop Merriman who has a gentle Friday stroll in. That’s how it finishes, will be another winner takes all for the Welsh against the Pumas on P2 at 17.36 precisely.

Result: Wales 27 Uruguay 0

13:58

Action back on P1 now, and those giant killing Los Teros of Uruguay against the slowly improving Welshies. Beauty of this sport is that if these two met in 15s it literally would be carnage but here I’m pretty undecided. Keeping my eye out for Crosa here, he’s sharp, elusive, and nuggety.The Welsh aren’t the most mobile of sides - more they physical and strong then anything

13:56

I'm back from Lunch...

Just walked past Kenyan fans - about 150 of them who danced and chanted their way to P2 and back... fantastic sight!! They saw their boys Kenya put Hong Kong to the sword 43-7. Lavin Asego, Collins Injera and Horace Otieno all with tries for Kenya. Aiymba’s charges looking pretty menacing ahead of ‘Winner Takes it all (Pool E) clash’ with England later…should be a belter.

13:17

Random Sevens Fact: Rugby 7s could be added to the 2016 Olympic programme - USA are the reigning rugby gold medallists, beating France at the 1924 Paris Olympics!

Stumpy Update: Just seen the big man dressed as a Fairy. He is with 15 mates also dressed liked Fairies. Today they battle drink for drink/chat for chat with 30 of their other mates dressed in British Army red coats (think Michael Caine in Zulu).

13:13

Women’s Update:

Match 1: Australia 50 China 12
Match 2: Netherlands 17 France 14
Match 3: Canada 48 Thailand 7
Match 4: Brazil 21 Spain 0
Match 5: New Zealand 50 Uganda 0
Match 6: South Africa 26 Italy 5

Big news here, surely -  Netherlands win against France, pinching it with a last minute penalty by the impressive Lorraine Laros – don’t often see that in Sevens…

13:12

USA V Fiji

Caravelli’s mood won’t be helped there – Boyd falls of Rokodiva who goes blind – often an area badly defended in sevens. 7-0. Global superstar Vilimoni Delasau is a big, big boy - he sucks in three men before popping to Goneva for 14-0. Eagles captain Wyles barks encouragement from behind the sticks. It works as Swiryn is dummy popping, pirouetting, then dummying again, 14 – 7 @ drinks…

Patient build-up is trademark Fiji and they ship it right to Nalaga who shrugs off Justin Boyd’s attempted piggy back to put this to bed perhaps? Boyd not enjoying himself in this one. Naqica gets one back for the US with Clever and Wyles involved. Ping ball stuff at the end with the US desperately looking for points but in the end gifting Burotu with the score.

Result: Fiji 26 USA 12

12:53

Cheetahs struggled there and really resembled my Granny Smith’s tame tabby then a predatory animal. Pumas looking good and support work was first-class.

First really big game of the day now and it’s those American Eagles up against defending champs and man-mountains of Fiji. Eagles, expecting big things here, suffered a poor reverse against France yesterday. I spoke to their coach, Al Caravelli, last night and he was still seething. Pool B is wide open folks.

12:49

Argentina v Zimbabwe

Quickest try of the tournament? I’d say so as the Pumas gather their own re-start and the other Gomez Cora (Pablo not try machine Santiago) goes over after 10 secs. Wonderfully named Horacio San Martin has hair and gas like former footballer David Ginola – cruising through a huge Zimbabwe vacuum for 14-0. Moyano score in similar vain a minute later and its’ 21-0 @ Oranges.

Pumas coach Forrester using this game to save legs with most of this lot back-up to the big boys… Great supporting inside line from my man Horacio and he’s in for his second. He then turns provider drawing his man to give Moyano his second too. Sibanda shows wheels skinning his man to get Zims off the mark but another Puma break out again and rubs further salt into the Cheetahs wounds.

Result: Argentina 40 Zimbabwe 5

12:30

‘Pumas’ of Argentina face off against the ‘Cheetahs’ of Zimbabwe next up on main stage P1 now…gone off in a tangent in my mind now of who’s hardest out of a Puma or Cheetah? I’d back the Cheetah to do a job personally – On the pitch it should be a different story as Argentina should take this pretty comprehensively, let’s see…

12:29

South Africa v Canada.

Scrum ball sees the veteran and now injury free former skipper Powell float a delicious ball to Benjamin on the wing, who doesn’t need a second invitation. 5-0. Mpho Mbiyozo doubles that lead on the far side in a minute later. Canadian Van der Merwe almost got made to look like a clown there taking on 3 men in his own 22 – and his team have got a sniff still.

We have a ball game – Neil Meechan shows fantastic upper body NHL-esque fending off 3 would be Boks to close the deficit to 10-7. Coach Paul Treu is adopting the tea pot pose in bewilderment. Canada almost score again but Pritchard is denied with a contentious ‘forward’ pass the call. A South African fly-hack is picked up by Dazel who goes over to see of the brave Canadians. Paul Treu does a cool guy knuckle celebration with his assistant on the side – in relief I imagine.

Result: South Africa 15 Canada 7

12:17

Sevens Random Fact: Rugby Sevens was pioneered in 1883 by Ned Haig from Scotland’s Melrose RFC.

12:09

First fancy dress spotted, a group of Prisoners in orange jump suits in a group with about 20 Spidermen…filling up nicely. No word from that party-loving rouge Stumpy yet - is he even in the ground? Boks/Canada coming up. Pretty impressed with the Canadians yesterday tearing up some paper weighted Scotland ‘tackling’ with 5 first half tries. South Africa were made to work hard by the courageous Japanese.

12:06

P2 Update: England make heavy, heavy work against Tunisia but survive a late onslaught on. Some lazy ‘D’ from England in the second half after Varndell had run riot in the first. England 26 - Tunisia 24.

12:06

Samoa v Portugal

Loopy pass from that man Mai putting in his mate Lolo Lui early. Tupou isn’t small and isn’t slow either cruising in past the helpless Aguilar to double the Samoan lead, 10-0. Portugal looking drowsy here, and the Samoans knick another one before the break. 15-0.

Samoa dwarf their opponents in size but the jinky Portugeses are enjoying possession but can’t break down the blue brick wall. What a smash from Mikaele cutting Foro in two - Lui is the reciepient from the spill and it’s 20-0. Scrappy end to proceedings and a Foro has put his bottom half back together again to get a consolation – Portugal’s Cup hopes though all over…

Result: Samoa 20 Portugal 5

11:31

First up today here on Pitch (P1) is a potential corker as Samoa tackle the most improved team on the circuit this year, Portugal. Pool D really is the ‘Group of Death’ (Ireland and Australia also in it) and points difference is valuable here, so expect it fast and loose. Portuguese were disappointing yesterday losing 24-12 to the Aussies, whilst Samoa were clinical against Ireland. Looking forward to seeing Samoan playmaker Uale Mai strut his stuff.

11:26

Hosts Arabian Gulf faced a tough task on P2 taking on the mighty New Zealand but managed to go into half-time on 12-5 down, before the men in black step it up about 8 gearse and cruised to an easy win, 41-5 . Super 14 star Victor Vito shrugged of injury concerns and started…ominous.

11:15

Sorry all a bit rushed this morning, I could point to the Dubai taxi drivers' reliability as one reason or the fact that ‘The Sevens’ complex, in all it’s grandiose, is literally in the bloomin middle of no-where in the desert. I’m crashing at my best mate’s pad this weekend. ‘Stumpy’ – as he is lovingly known, likes to think of himself as ‘Mr Party Liaison’ and will be giving me regular updates of all the ‘craic’ that’s happening around the ground. Cheers Stumpy.

11:14

Most of the action over the three days will take place right in front of me here on Pitch 1 (P1) and that will be the focus of our attention. There are also games taking place on the pitch adjacent on Pitch 2 (P2) and I will of course give regular updates to whatever happens there!

11:12

Some cracking games coming up in the Men’s competition – Samoa/Portugal, Fiji/France, and England/Kenya are the Crème de la Crème I’d say. Really good buzz going around Dubai about the Women’s first World Cup too. Look out for England/USA, New Zealand/South Africa, and my personal favourite Brazil/Thailand!!

11:11

Weather Update – Those stuck in a tremendously dull office or in colder rain-forsaken climates, look away now….

Dubai is currently cloudless, 30 degrees with a soothing breeze blowing through my mediocre coiffeur. As bit of a ‘Pub’ sevens player myself, the thought of 14 minutes of lung bursting action in this heat wouldn’t be tempting but with the international sevens circuit always following the sunshine, these guys and gals are pretty used to it.

11:03

Bula global rugby fans! It’s Day 2 of the fifth Rugby World Cup Sevens here at ‘The Sevens’ stadium in Dubai’s desert. Today we see the culmination of the Men’s Pools whilst enjoying the start of the inaugural Women’s competition – basically shed loads of points, champagne flair, rib-breaking smashes all in front of 30,000 fancy-dressed fans. Perfect.